5 months

It has been 5 months today since my baby left.

I can't fathom how I've managed to survive, despite my best efforts.

I miss with a visceral ache that nothing makes better. There is no lessening of the pain, and in fact, there is more. I was in shock when he passed, I didn't think it would happen, I didn't believe that it would.

When it did, the arrangements were so fast, that within 30 hours there was a wake, within 42 the funeral mass.

I hate this. It's wrong and it's not fair.

I don't a flying fuck if that is immature. It's not fucking fair and it's not right. He should be here, holding me, loving me and doing the good that he was doing for people.

The man lived a life that was good. He was good to the disenfranchised, he helped those who could not help themselves.

He was a good man and I love him.

God, I miss him.